Please Take the Phone Away From Your Ear

You know what I love?

Bluetooth technology.

Honestly it is great. Both of my computers have it and so does my phone. My phone’s contacts and calendar even sync to my computer automatically through Bluetooth. AWESOME!

You know what else I love?

My Bluetooth headset.

That thing is mint. I can walk around my whole apartment and be on the phone. It is comfortable too. I don’t mind going on a conference call or anything. It fits great in my ear and it sounds great. That was always my biggest problem with previous Bluetooth headsets. They were always too quiet and painful. So I finally spent some good money and bought a nice piece. All in all, I’m very happy with my purchase.

You know what I hate?

Your Bluetooth headset.

Take the damn phone off your ear when you are not on a call. There is no need for you to walk around the city with that thing clipped to your ear. It’s not an accessory, it doesn’t go with your outfit, and it DOESN’T match your shoes. Take it off! I bought a really nice one and when I wear it around I know look like a tool. That why I won’t buy a Bluetooth unless it has a lanyard for it. I've noticed that you can find these with a lot of headsets. It usually snaps right into the slot for the charger and then you can wear it around your neck. Mine also came with a case so I can stick it in my backpack or my pocket and not worry about my nice piece of technology getting all broke. These are both awesome because people can tell that I’m ON the phone because the Bluetooth is in my ear. Subsequently, people can tell when I'm NOT on the phone because my Bluetooth ISN’T hanging off my head.

Does everyone follow so far? Ok, good!

Stop wearing your Bluetooth all day. You look like a goober… A GOOBER!

There are some occasions to keep your headset clipped to your ears. I will give a free pass here to those people who wear them in their cars. I understand talking on the phone while driving and not wanting to fumble around with looking for it whenever the phone rings. It’s ok, its your car, you can do whatever you would like. I do goofy things in the car too, I personally like to listen to Z100 in the car. (I KNOW!) It’s your car, it’s your sanctuary. If you want to look like goofball then be my guest. If I see you on the road I may make comments; BUT it will be to myself, a passenger, or possibly the person I’m talking to on my Bluetooth headset.

The people who will never, EVER, get a pass are those fools that insist on wearing their headsets in the subway, especially those in Manhattan. In an outer borough you’re just annoying for talking too loudly on my train. However, in Manhattan, we all know you aren’t making a call! Honestly, you probably aren’t going to make a call as soon as you get out of the train either. If you are, then why don’t you walk or take a bus. If you are seriously THAT important, then maybe you shouldn’t spend so much time underground. The phones don’t work underground here yet, we all know it, and IT DOESN’T MATCH YOU OUTFIT! (see above) You are not making a fashion statement, you are making the statement that you like to look like a goober! (again, see above)

You are not a doctor, you do not need a beeper.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to take this call.